When Your Boss is Your Dad

We’ve all had a boss who has tested our mettle. Now imagine your boss—the person who dictates your duties, evaluates your performance and ultimately determines many aspects of your career path—is the same person who knows your weaknesses better than your strengths and has historically seen you as a child rather than an adult. This has been the case for most of my professional life—my boss is my father.

My dad and mom built our family’s company, Tan Hiep Phat, from a mom-and-pop yeast business my father ran in the 1970s out of a tiny room at home into Vietnam’s largest privately owned beverage company, one that recently turned down a $2.5 billion buyout offer from Coca-Cola. I was basically born and raised into the business, and have been working there since I was a teenager.

Add to that the fact that my family lives together in an apartment above one of our factories, and the waters between the personal and the professional can get very murky. Still, I have managed to build a satisfying career, help grow our company and maintain a loving relationship with my dad.

Here I offer six tips for cultivating relationships with family in business, whether your boss is your dad, your mom, your sibling or any other relative.

Don’t take your boss’ trust for granted.
I was once extremely surprised to learn that my dad had ordered an audit of my department. But then I realized it’s normal for me to be subject to all the same processes as anybody else. Even when your boss is your dad or another family member, trust must be earned.

Show up and show results every single day.
Just as trust is not a given, neither are opportunities. Like any other employee, you have to earn opportunities by proving yourself every day. That means showing up fully engaged and delivering results on a frequent and consistent basis.

Embrace challenges from your boss as opportunities, not affronts.
When a boss who is your parent challenges you, the child in you might take it personally. Recognize this and rise above it. Be prepared to embrace any and every challenge your boss presents you with as an opportunity to prove your capabilities—not as a measure of their affection.

Don’t call your boss “Dad” at work.
To maintain proper boundaries and send the right message to other colleagues, use professional salutations in the workplace. This also serves as a reminder that you need to respect each other’s professional opinions even if they sometimes differ.

Leverage your understanding of your boss to keep the peace
My father does not get angry very often, but I have developed a toolset based on my deep understanding of who he is for the times when he does get angry. All of these tactics can really help to defuse the situation and foster constructive conversation.

I believe that with mutual respect, clear communication and the proper perspective, other families can succeed in working together peacefully, successfully and with respect.