An Empire Built on Farm Town Roots and Combat Boots
At age eighteen serving as an Army medic, Shelley Wilson survived a major car accident which left her disabled, blind for a time, and utterly helpless. Her small farm town in Iowa did not provide any home care services, which left her parents with the unanticipated—an angry, vulnerable, beaten spirit who needed them to care despite her bitterness. Shelley explains from experience, “We are so awful to the ones who love us when we are sick and in pain versus a doctor.” Bringing in a trained third-party to care for a patient with a disease or after an accident is what can preserve the dynamics between loved ones during adverse times. Shelley says understanding the feelings of anger that come from being labeled as “disabled” is what initiated her to start her business at age twenty-one.
It was being stationed in Hawai‘i that saved her spirit she said. “Hawai‘i had such a different way of treating people. It nurtured me into the woman I am.” It was here that she traded farm-town jeans, combat boots and Army scrubs for the business life in high heels and her favorite feminine accessory—lash extensions. In 1996, her living room became her office, her first patient became her backing and credit cards helped her pay her employees when she couldn’t get help elsewhere. Clearly, tenacity set Shelley apart, as she states after twenty-four years of business that “Failure is not an option. No one is going to give it to you—you make it happen.”
When asked what makes her happy, this veteran confesses it is taking care of other people and showing them unconditional love. It’s why the Wilson Care Group has partnered with the Wounded Warrior Project to provide “battle buddies,” or veterans who become caregivers for other veterans. Shelley once even went “undercover” as a caregiver taking on a patient with short-term memory loss who was too difficult for others to work with.
Resilience in dealing with challenging people is a tool that Shelley acquired in her own military experience. As a seventeen-year-old woman starting boot camp in 1992, the slap of crudeness and humiliation were inevitable milestones of her training. Shelley’s face cringed as she remembered one of the care packages her mother mailed to her at boot camp. “It was ripped open—candy and bras were held up for all to see, the letters from my mother were ridiculed and read out loud for all to hear,” It was just a part of the indoctrination, one that she credits as acclimating her to the rejection of business life. This background allowed Shelley to look past the outward resistance of the patient, and to see that he just needed someone he could trust that was strong enough to combat his pain along with him. After months of perseverance, Shelley won him over, had taught him to trust another, and forged a friendship that continues today.
Failure is not an option. No one is going to give it to you—you make it happen.”
Even outside of work, she catches herself making homemade snacks for grown men. Shelley explains with her infectious smile, “The baggage with our loved ones goes away when we help other people in their greatest time of need.” In fact, it was taking care of her own father toward the end of his life that really freed her. For it was his doubts of her success that fueled Shelley to truly prove herself. After years of dismissing home care as valuable, he finally needed her for his own nurturing. It was in experiencing the compassion Shelley had built an empire on, that he finally said the words that healed her: “I’m so proud of you.”
Most businesses are at stake to make money, but in Shelley’s case, the assets are much more fragile, “You are gambling people’s lives. You just have to evolve, own the decision good or bad and say we are going to get through it.”
What do you do for self-care?
Self-care for me is a bubble bath, jazz music and a glass of wine. I tune the entire world out and go into an almost meditative state. It’s truly one of the ways I decompress on a regular basis. I also enjoy spending time with girlfriends as part of my “self-care” regimen. I know that it’s important for me to give and receive unconditional love on a personal level with my friends to stay mentally and emotionally healthy.
If a crystal ball could tell you anything about your future, what would you want to know?
If a crystal ball could tell me anything in the future, I would want to know if some of my personal trials and tribulations over the past several years have ultimately led me to a place of gratitude and growth. It’s been a very difficult few years, beginning with my father being ill and passing away, my marriage ending, losing a very dear friend and then having my own serious health issue. I’ve always been a believer that there’s a silver lining to every black cloud in my life. With nearly all of the hardships I’ve faced, there has always been a tremendous life lesson that has provided me with growth and inspiration. As I continue to get stronger everyday and heal from a rather stormy and tumultuous time in my life, I’m looking forward to the next chapter. I’m not broken, I’m still whole. I’m not fatally wounded, but I have some scars. I’m not without vision, because I can see the future now.
When was the last time you cried?
I cried yesterday after receiving a call from one of my patient’s family members. They shared a very sad story with me that reminded me of a specific moment I had experienced when taking care of my father after having to admit him to a hospice facility. There was nothing I could say to make this loved one feel better. There was nothing I could do to take away the pain she was experiencing in having to make such difficult decisions for her father. I could only listen and cry with her while she shared the pain of, undoubtedly, one of the hardest times in her life. I felt so privileged that she thought to call me and ask for me to be there for her, because I know exactly what that feels like.
